Who's Zooming You!

One of my all-time favorite songs is a little known tune called On Children. The lyrics were written a century ago by the Islamic poet, Khalil Gibran, the music was composed a century later by Ysaye Barnwell, and the song was recorded beautifully by Sweet Honey in the Rock, an a capella group of which Ms. Barnwell is a member. The wisdom of the lyrics is ageless and simply put Gibran and company remind us of the following:
Your children are not your children
They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself
They come through you but they are not from you and though they are with you
They belong not to you
You can give them your love but not your thoughts
They have their own thoughts
You can house their bodies but not their souls
For their souls dwell in a place of tomorrow
Which you cannot visit not even in your dreams
You can strive to be like them.
I often use this song to remind myself that as an adult, I am morally responsible for preparing the children in my sphere of influence to succeed in their future as opposed to in my past.

Regardless of whether or not you have children or grandchildren in your immediate life, you are interacting with someone’s children on a regular basis. It could be the kids in your family or circle of friends, kids in your neighborhood or just kids who see you at the grocery store, the gas station, in traffic or wherever. Because children are all around us and they are constantly watching us to learn how they should behave, we all have a host of young people whose future success depends on us. Sometimes, when I hear stories about child bullying that involves stereotypic name-calling or other examples of spoken bigotry, it frightens me to think what our children are learning from us. But there are also occasions when I hear about random acts of inclusion committed by a children, and it delights me to know what are children are learning from us.
This morning, I had the pleasure of reading a great story that recently appeared in the Arkansas Times about 10 year old Will Phillips – an elementary school student in Washington County, Arkansas – whose refusal to say the pledge of allegiance in school because of discrimination against gay people has received a great deal of attention from folks on both sides of the gay rights issue. According to the story, Will stood up to a substitute teacher who knows his mom and grandmother and who became increasingly more agitated with him over a four day period, as he refused to pledge as she insisted. Nevertheless, Will stood firm and steadfast, because in his own words, "I've always tried to analyze things because I want to be lawyer...I really don't feel that there's currently liberty and justice for all."
When I read about Will’s awareness, attitude and subsequent action I was thrilled to see this young champion standing up for the rights of others, especially amidst the taunting he’s receiving from other children and the negative feedback he and his family are receiving from adults. My next thought was: who grew this courageous child and taught him to be so inclusive minded?
It was easy to understand why Will is who he is when I read what his mother had to say about him. She shared with a reporter covering the story, “…he’s probably more aware of the meaning of the pledge than a lot of adults. He’s not just doing it rote recitation. We raised him to be aware of what’s right, what’s wrong, and what’s fair.” Will’s family is involved in the gay rights issue, and they are straight allies of the LBGT community.
Kudos to Will and his parents! What a great example of how to grow inclusive-minded child who values the diversity of others and who choose inclusion as their preferred way of work and life! The formula is relatively simple: if you want your kids to know how to succeed in a diverse society, teach them to value diversity – their own and that of others – and to do the right thing, even when it’s not the most popular option. Teach them when they’re not exactly sure what is the right thing to do, most of the time, the hardest thing will be the right thing to do. Children are very open to difference and don’t automatically attach a negative stigma to variances of race, ethnicity, ability, age, religion and/or sexuality. They learn those negative attitudes and all of the negative stereotypes that go along with them from adult role models. If we don’t teach them to devalue others, they won’t, and they will do everything thing in their powers to live up to the standards that have been modeled by the adults in they are trying to emulate.
My Aunt who helped raise me was a victim of polio and for as long as I knew her – my entire life – she was confined to a wheelchair. But I never remember feeling anything negative about her abilities or about her dependency on that wheelchair. She was a great cook and could wheel around a kitchen like nobody’s business. And, on more than one occasion, I remember wishing I too had a wheelchair because it would enable me to go to and from school in style – and I could even carry my classmate’s books for a nickel! She was super cool in my young eyes. Other adults may have perceived her as having a disability but I thought she had an incredible advantage as a result of her ability to be so mobile.
In closing, let me suggest that If you’re ever wondering what’s the best legacy you can leave behind that will make a positive impact on the world of the future, make an effort to role model inclusion - - for human differences as well as similarities.
Author and futurist, Michael Mendizza reminds us that "we touch the future based on how we interact with and what we model with our children." Hopefully the children in your personal sphere of influence see you committing random acts of inclusion on a regular basis. Watch out – somebody with the will and the way to change the world for the better maybe using you as their personal muse!
Inclusively yours,
Di Versity