Catch the inclusive holiday spirit...

A friend recently asked me why I thought her Jewish co-worker was always gung-ho about decorating their office for the Christmas holidays. She said, "I can't figure her out because Jewish people don't even believe in Christmas!" I used the opportunity to tell her about my best friend who is also Jewish. We've known each other for years and although we live in different parts of the country, we've exchanged both Hanakuh and Christmas gifts, celebrated Passover, Kwanza, Id-al-Fitr and Chinese New Year. We both consider ourselves pretty fortunate to have loved ones from such diverse cultures, and who are willing to share their cultures with us. I told my curious friend that her co-worker was one of those rare human beings who could value the traditions of others without devaluing her own. And I suggested that my friend ask her co-worker about Jewish celebrations and why she also celebrates Christmas; and together they might open some minds and hearts of others about the beauty of the many cultural traditions that are shared by America's diverse family.
Although I hail from a Christian background, my elderly father and I were once invited to a Sedar feast with a Jewish family in Memphis, Tennessee. My father had many reservations about going because he didn't know much about the Jewish faith, was pretty sure he wasn't going to enjoy the food and was also pretty sure he wasn't going to enjoy himself celebrating an unknown tradition with a bunch of people he'd never met. Imagine his surprise when - because he was the eldest person in attendance - he was treated as the guest of honor and was asked to read a prayer to kick off the celebration. On the way home from the gathering, he thanked me for insisting that he go, talked about how delicious the food was and admitted his surprise to learn that Jewish people share a great many things in common with us! Interestingly enough, about two years later at one of our family gatherings, when he overheard someone making a disparaging joke about Jewish people, my father was the first to inform the joke-maker that he didn't know what he was talking about and that he should stop spreading misinformation about people to whom he had little exposure. My dad went on to tell everyone within earshot about the “lovely” celebration he’d attended and encouraged them to do the same, if ever invited.
When we have little-to-no exposure to people from other cultures, our brains operate on stereotypes that are usually negative. Our misinformed knowledge-base tell us that "they do strange things...eat strange food...have strange beliefs...and aren't anything like us!" And from there, we mistakenly think we know all about "them" and have no reason for further education. Consider the fact that many of us were raised in families that seldom ate foods outside of our own cultures. Nevertheless, today's children from various racial and ethnic backgrounds would feel deprived if suddenly they had to live without tacos, pizza, sushi, falafels, gyros, and bagels. Whether we know it or not, we celebrate cultures other than our own on a regular basis in the foods we enjoy, the phrases we use and a host of other things we do daily - like shaking hands, wishing someone "Happy Holidays" and offering prayers of thanks before or after a meal.
During this holiday season, take the time to ask someone about their traditions. You might be surprised to learn that they are not so different from yours or that people from your own racial and/or ethnic background have traditions that are quite different from your own. There are numerous sites on the Internet providing great information about the various holiday traditions of others that you can use as a starting point to educate yourself and your children. And if you're lucky enough to know someone from another culture, just ask them about their holiday celebrations and share information about yours with them. Who knows, a simple exchange of this type of harmless information could very well be the start of a beautiful friendship!
Inclusively yours,
Di Versity

From Collaborating Inclusion...

Collaborating Inclusion said...
I think that disability is not the "hot topic" in diversity. I also think that there is fear and misconception about disability. People with disabilities in the workforce require minimal accommodations which is $500 or less. The disability community is very loyal, low turnover rate, and less absenteeism than people without disabilities. Just think if we as adults do not want to discuss the topic of disabilities just imagine how children feel who have disabilities. Is our society really inclusive?
November 25, 2009 10:35 AM

Dear CI,
I agree wholeheartedly! And I for one will be thrilled when we move beyond "hot topics" and diversity flavors of the month. As suggested in my post re: "Dissing the Disabled," the science of diversity management is not as comprehensive as it should be;and neither are its practitioners. Persons with disability are encompassed in all of the diverse groups we focus on when discussing race, ethnicity, gender and age, etc. but we continue to put them in a separate category as if mainstreaming their needs and interests into our discussions is inappropriate. However, persons with disabilities are also going to have to bear some of the accountability for insisting that they not be pushed to the side. When practitioners and companies discuss the semi-safe topics of race, ethnicity, gender and age, persons with disabilities must demand to be included in said discussions and decision-making strategies.

Persons with disabilities have much to offer any workplace; and accommodating them costs nowhere near as much as many companies are quick to offer others in terms of laptops, cell phones, health club memberships, etc. Unfortunately, there remain numerous diversity-related topics we still do not want to discuss. Disability, sexuality, religion and socio-economic status are at the top of the list. Our society is not really inclusive and too often because we talk around what we perceive to be safe diversity issues, there exists the illusion of inclusion. The presence of diversity does not automatically mean the existence of inclusion. Our nation exemplifies this reality. But don't despair. Keep asking the questions and broadening viewpoints and discussions. It's fighting the good fight.

Inclusively yours,
Di Versity

Dissing the Disabled...

A few days ago, a colleague, Tisha Sherdan-Korf - Founding Director and Diversity Coach at Collaborating Inclusion, in the Greater Minneapolis-St. Paul Area – posted a question to members of an on-line diversity and inclusion chat group to which we both belong. She asked:

Why is it that when we sometimes discuss diversity, disability is not included?
The disability community is such an under-served community with so much talent
that has not been tapped into.
A thoughtful question, that I automatically assumed would attract numerous responses. Unfortunately, my assumption was incorrect because yours truly was the lone respondent.
Nevertheless, I let Tisha know that disability is a topic that I insist on including in my discussions and trainings because it impacts all of us - regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, religion, socioeconomic status, etc. Of the more than 40,000,000 known disabled persons in this country, only 13% were born disabled. The rest became disabled as a result of accident, illness or just age. Additionally, the 40,000,000 doesn't even include the mentally and learning disabled. So when we leave disability out of our conversations, we're excluding a significantly large segment of the population.
While we’ve considered ourselves having been engaged in serious discussions about diversity and inclusion for the past three decades, we continue to think about and discuss diversity in a segmented fashion. If you want to know about race and ethnicity, you are directed to “diversity” forums and groups. If you want to know about sexuality, you are directed to “LBGT” forums and groups. If you want to know about ageism you are directed to “age” forums and groups. And if you want to know about disability you are directed to “disability” forums and groups. It’s disturbing that even the majority of us practitioners continue to see diversity in segments, rather than view “diversity” as a comprehensive packaging that simultaneously encompasses numerous dimensions.

Unfortunately, the word "diversity" still means race, ethnicity and (sometimes) gender to most corporations and even to most diversity practitioners. Think not? Type in the phrase "diversity jobs" in your browser and see what pops up. You may see a few jobs that actually have something to do with managing diversity. But 99% of the things that pop up will be job announcements that contain a statement about the company's commitment to respect and hire "diversity" candidates. "Diversity" continues to be viewed and used as the politically correct word for "minority" which is why so many companies and recruiters talk about "diversity hires" and "diversity candidates." This misconception will not change until we as practitioners change our languaging and help those we are educating understand that "diversity" encompasses everyone - including white people and, yes including the disabled.

As we move forward in our thinking and discussions about diversity and inclusion, I encourage all of us to expand our viewpoints and our language about the subject itself. A more inclusive understanding will end a lot of unnecessary confusion and discord, and may actually help us gain much needed momentum to advance our efforts!

Inclusively yours,
Di Versity

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Di,
Since I'm the only African-American in my office, my co-workers act like I'm the BFE - Black Folks Expert. They constantly ask me questions about my race! Usually, I respond jokingly, "Are you saying that all Black people know each other?" I'm sick and tired of being bombarded with their clueless questions. I've been as tactful as I can; however, one day the sister-girl might . . . Help me to respond in a professional manner, because I need to keep my job!

Hey Anonymous,
Your question reminds me of a scene in the movie Freedom Writers when the teacher asked the lone black student to share the black perspective on the book, The Color Purple. In her head, she immediately said something like, "What am I - the Rosetta Stone for all black people? What - black people learned to read and we all came to the same conclusion?" I'm sure you can relate especially when your co-workers assume that all black people vote, worship, eat, think and live alike. If I were you, I'd consider continuing to respond with humor and tell them that you missed the last national meeting of all black people but that you'll get back with them as soon as you get a copy of the minutes. Yes, their questions are clueless and reflect a basic ignorance about the vast diversity that exists within the black experience. But this isn't worth losing your job over - especially not in this economy. So break out your fabulous wit and try flipping their questions. Ask them if all white people belong to the KKK or if all white people are college graduates? Or if all Latino people are great salsa dancers or wear sombreros? Or if all Asians are math geniuses or photography experts? Or if all tall people are great basketball players? Or if all women are great cooks and all men are great mechanics? They'll get the message and understand how ridiculous their questions are and how stereotypical their thinking is. And after you get them to laugh at some of the stereotypical questions you pose, suggest that you all make time to learn more about each other as a means of becoming a more cohesive and inclusive work team.
Inclusively yours,
Di Versity

Curiosity inspiring braids...

Dear Anonymous,
Don't get upset because a co-worker ask questions about your hair. Instead, use it as an opportunity to teach them something about your culture. Most of the people asking these types of questions are really just curious. Their questions might be tacky but they're usually not trying to be offensive. So take it as a compliment that they feel comfortable enough with you to ask. But don't feel out of place just because you don't look like everyone else. The next time that co-worker asks you about your hair, bring a black hair care magazine to work and use it to show the many versatile ways Black women can wear their hair, i.e. braids, locks, twists, straight, natural, tight curls, loose curls, etc. You might even suggest that if they are really curious about black hair they should take a walk on the wild side an visit a black hair salon. After all, black women frequent salons that serve a predominately while clientele all the time. As for the negative comments, chalk them up to ignorance, consider the source and ignore them just as you would if they'd come from another black person. Whatever, don't let anyone cramp your style or your positive attitude.
Inclusively yours,
Di Versity

Curiosity inspiring braids...

Anonymous

Question: How do I respond to a co-worker that continues to ask about my braids. I work in a corporate environment and I feel out of place, but my company allows me to wear my hair fashionably. I am tired of the comments. Help me Di before I respond inappropriately.

Signed,
Good Hair

Dear Anonymous,

Cute name! Don't get upset because a co-worker ask questions about your hair. Instead, use it as an opportunity to teach them something about your culture. Most of the people asking these types of questions are really just curious. Their questions might be tacky but they're usually not trying to be offensive. So take it as a compliment that they feel comfortable enough with you to ask. But don't feel out of place just because you don't look like everyone else. The next time that co-worker asks you about your hair, bring a black hair care magazine to work and use it to show the many versatile ways Black women can wear their hair, i.e. braids, locks, twists, straight, natural, tight curls, loose curls, etc. You might even suggest that if they are really curious about black hair they should take a walk on the wild side an visit a black hair salon. After all, black women frequent salons that serve a predominately while clientele all the time. As for the negative comments, chalk them up to ignorance, consider the source and ignore them just as you would if they'd come from another black person. Whatever, don't let anyone cramp your style or your positive attitude.
Inclusively yours,
Di Versity

Who's Zooming You!

One of my all-time favorite songs is a little known tune called On Children. The lyrics were written a century ago by the Islamic poet, Khalil Gibran, the music was composed a century later by Ysaye Barnwell, and the song was recorded beautifully by Sweet Honey in the Rock, an a capella group of which Ms. Barnwell is a member. The wisdom of the lyrics is ageless and simply put Gibran and company remind us of the following:
Your children are not your children
They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself
They come through you but they are not from you and though they are with you
They belong not to you
You can give them your love but not your thoughts
They have their own thoughts
You can house their bodies but not their souls
For their souls dwell in a place of tomorrow
Which you cannot visit not even in your dreams
You can strive to be like them.
I often use this song to remind myself that as an adult, I am morally responsible for preparing the children in my sphere of influence to succeed in their future as opposed to in my past.

Regardless of whether or not you have children or grandchildren in your immediate life, you are interacting with someone’s children on a regular basis. It could be the kids in your family or circle of friends, kids in your neighborhood or just kids who see you at the grocery store, the gas station, in traffic or wherever. Because children are all around us and they are constantly watching us to learn how they should behave, we all have a host of young people whose future success depends on us. Sometimes, when I hear stories about child bullying that involves stereotypic name-calling or other examples of spoken bigotry, it frightens me to think what our children are learning from us. But there are also occasions when I hear about random acts of inclusion committed by a children, and it delights me to know what are children are learning from us.
This morning, I had the pleasure of reading a great story that recently appeared in the Arkansas Times about 10 year old Will Phillips – an elementary school student in Washington County, Arkansas – whose refusal to say the pledge of allegiance in school because of discrimination against gay people has received a great deal of attention from folks on both sides of the gay rights issue. According to the story, Will stood up to a substitute teacher who knows his mom and grandmother and who became increasingly more agitated with him over a four day period, as he refused to pledge as she insisted. Nevertheless, Will stood firm and steadfast, because in his own words, "I've always tried to analyze things because I want to be lawyer...I really don't feel that there's currently liberty and justice for all."
When I read about Will’s awareness, attitude and subsequent action I was thrilled to see this young champion standing up for the rights of others, especially amidst the taunting he’s receiving from other children and the negative feedback he and his family are receiving from adults. My next thought was: who grew this courageous child and taught him to be so inclusive minded?
It was easy to understand why Will is who he is when I read what his mother had to say about him. She shared with a reporter covering the story, “…he’s probably more aware of the meaning of the pledge than a lot of adults. He’s not just doing it rote recitation. We raised him to be aware of what’s right, what’s wrong, and what’s fair.” Will’s family is involved in the gay rights issue, and they are straight allies of the LBGT community.
Kudos to Will and his parents! What a great example of how to grow inclusive-minded child who values the diversity of others and who choose inclusion as their preferred way of work and life! The formula is relatively simple: if you want your kids to know how to succeed in a diverse society, teach them to value diversity – their own and that of others – and to do the right thing, even when it’s not the most popular option. Teach them when they’re not exactly sure what is the right thing to do, most of the time, the hardest thing will be the right thing to do. Children are very open to difference and don’t automatically attach a negative stigma to variances of race, ethnicity, ability, age, religion and/or sexuality. They learn those negative attitudes and all of the negative stereotypes that go along with them from adult role models. If we don’t teach them to devalue others, they won’t, and they will do everything thing in their powers to live up to the standards that have been modeled by the adults in they are trying to emulate.
My Aunt who helped raise me was a victim of polio and for as long as I knew her – my entire life – she was confined to a wheelchair. But I never remember feeling anything negative about her abilities or about her dependency on that wheelchair. She was a great cook and could wheel around a kitchen like nobody’s business. And, on more than one occasion, I remember wishing I too had a wheelchair because it would enable me to go to and from school in style – and I could even carry my classmate’s books for a nickel! She was super cool in my young eyes. Other adults may have perceived her as having a disability but I thought she had an incredible advantage as a result of her ability to be so mobile.
In closing, let me suggest that If you’re ever wondering what’s the best legacy you can leave behind that will make a positive impact on the world of the future, make an effort to role model inclusion - - for human differences as well as similarities.
Author and futurist, Michael Mendizza reminds us that "we touch the future based on how we interact with and what we model with our children." Hopefully the children in your personal sphere of influence see you committing random acts of inclusion on a regular basis. Watch out – somebody with the will and the way to change the world for the better maybe using you as their personal muse!
Inclusively yours,
Di Versity

On Seeing Change...

Sometimes, when we hear news about something some bigot did or said in our respective communities and workplaces, it’s easy to get discouraged and think, “Wow! It’s the 21st Century and people are just as ignorant and prejudiced as they were decades if not centuries ago!” But trust me, things really are changing. We just have to know where to look and we have to keep each other informed about the changes that are happening around us.
Unfortunately, we live in an era in which the bigots get more media attention than the champions of inclusion. When is the last time your favorite national or local news source reported information about people taking positive action to make our world a more inclusive place? We rarely see these kinds of stories because hate stories sell and many media companies simply don’t have a clue as to how to package stories about inclusion, unless they’re reporting about someone’s kindness during the Christmas or Thanksgiving holidays.
For example, how as the media covered the national impact of all of the diverse cultural celebrations that have occurred at the White House, since the Obama family took up residency there? Yes, we’ve all seen the media demand to know the names of persons on the “secret” list of people who’ve been invited to the White House but I’ve yet to see any in-depth reporting on how much more diverse the White House invitees have become since January 21, 2009.
Think about the fact that in less than a year, entire population segments that were previously excluded from anything and everything that happened at the White House have received a warm welcome by President and Mrs. Obama. In addition to the various cultural celebrations the Obamas have observed such as Ramadan, Seder, St. Patrick’s Day, Black History Month and Hispanic Heritage Month, the Obamas have also celebrated Martin Luther King Day with a volunteer initiative, gay families were deliberately invited to join the Annual Easter Egg Roll and recently the White House doors were open to 2,000 children from military families for a Halloween celebration that they’ll remember for the rest of their lives. Wait there’s more – because we’ve also seen those big old doors open for the first time to kids from the local neighborhood, young girls and their celebrated role models during Women’s History Week, a diverse group of young Hip-Hop poets, local residents who help care for Mrs. Obama’s garden on the White House lawn and the Girl Scouts. The Obama’s also purchased super-duper play equipment for their own daughters and the children of White House staff. I’m probably leaving many things off the list. Nevertheless, my point is – these are not the gestures of people wanting to look like they value diversity. Instead, these are the deliberate actions of people who value diversity, inclusive relationships and environments, and choose to serve as role models for others to do the same.
And if you think the Obama’s inclusive actions are not having a positive impact on many of your friends and neighbors, check out a couple of the comments I recently saw on the Huffington Post, in response to last week’s Halloween celebration:


• Great to see kids at the White House. It’s our house. And it’s a very very fine house. Makes me feel good and also thankful to see it occupied by some very smart and caring people trying to do their best for a country in pretty tough shape. With all the tough issues to worry about and discuss, sometimes I have to just sit back and be happy and feel grateful for the new residents of our house.

• Our First Parents look at children with such awe and delight. They have made the White House open again, and full of positive, healthy things, honoring so many traditions.


While many of us might be inclined to assume the sentiments shared are from persons who were non-white and/or young, and therefore more sensitive to issues of diversity and inclusion. They were not. The first was posted by an elderly white southern gentleman, and the second was shared by an older white woman living in the Midwest. Isn’t it great to have our own stereotypical thinking interrupted in such an enlightening manner?

In future posts, I’ll be revisiting the notion of seeing the inclusive changes happening around us and I invite you and your associates to share information about changes you’ve seen and/or experienced. Take a look around and I’m sure you’ll see something enlightening! In the meantime, the next time you hear someone bemoan the fact that nothing is changing, interrupt their cynical attitude and challenge them with some of the changes on your list.

Inclusively yours,
Di Versity

Sharon Littles said...

This is a GREAT blog about DiVersity and getting those questions discussed, answered, for many curious minds. Its too funny about the African American women's hair and not getting it wet at the beach!!!

October 31, 2009 6:22 AM

Hey Sharon,

Thanks for the feedback. I hope you will visit Ask Di Versity on a regular basis to see what folks are talking about and don't forget to encourage others in your professional and personal networks to join the dialogue!

The curiosity about African American hair comes up more than one might imagine and now that Chris Rock's movie has emerged, I'm sure it will spark even more conversation and questions. One of my favorite black hair stories was shared at a diversity training I was doing for executives for a large banking client. The 40-50 participants were in small groups exchanging information about their most memorable childhood diversity awakenings and suddenly one of the groups burst into loud uncontrollable laughter that disrupted all of the other groups' discussions. The members of the laughing group were all female and although it was apparent to everyone they were trying to regain composure, each of them were holding their stomachs and had tears rolling down their faces.

When they finally calmed down, I asked if they wanted to share whatever it was they were discussing with the entire group. One of the participants - an African American woman who'd grown up in the Midwest - proceeded to tell us about her very first sleep-over experience at a white classmate's home. The sleep-over group was comprised of 6-7 year old girls and one of the activities planned for the weekend was a visit to the neighborhood swimming pool. All of the little girls had a great time swimming but upon returning to the host's home, the story-teller was in tears and insisting upon going home because after the swimming activity, her hair had "napped up" and was standing all over her head. She said she was embarrassed because she'd gone to the pool looking like all the other girls but came home looking like Buckwheat.

The mother of the child hosting the party felt so bad because her daughter's only black guest was clearly so unhappy and not wanting to stay for the rest of the festivities. So the white mom phoned the black mom to apprise her of the turn of events and she asked the black mom if there was anything she could do to resolve the situation so that the black child would want to stay at the party. Upon hearing why her daughter was so upset, the black mom told the white mom, "Don't worry. All you have to do is put at lot of grease on her hair and brush it down and everything will be just fine." The white mom was thrilled to have found a solution to the dilemma and immediately told the crying child that her mom had told her what to do. She took the little black guest into the bathroom to follow the instructions she'd been given by the child's mother. Unfortunately, because she had no idea the black child's mom had been talking about hair grease, she applied a huge glob of solid white Crisco to the child's hair and brushed it down has directed. The story-teller stayed at the party and even had a good time - but by the end of the weekend the still visible Crisco had attracted all kinds of lint and gnats and she remembered smelling like she was about to fry something the entire time.

I still laugh whenever I remember how much the class full of banking executives reacted upon hearing their colleague's story. It was an enlightening moment for all of us that underlined the fact that not knowing about other cultures really can end in some hilarious results and don't always lead to memories of anger and diminishment. Hopefully, we can all experience moments that make us laugh as we work to build mutually appreciative relationships with folks from other cultures.

Yours inclusively,
Di Versity

Bryan asked...

Hi Di,
My question is: What is the best way to get mid-level managers, and specifically asking about white men, driving the inclusion train as opposed to leaving it to chance?

October 31, 2009 9:48 AM


Hey Bryan,

Great question! I think, one of the best ways to get white guys to drive the train of which you speak, is to help them understand that the phrase "valuing diversity" does not mean valuing everybody except white guys. Unfortunately, too many people still think "diversity" means non-white. More often than not, when the media discusses diversity they show pictures of everybody expect white men. And when companies refer to their "diversity hires" they are almost always talking about everybody but white men. Just look at the various websites advertising career opportunities that refer to non-white job seekers as "diversity candidates." A large part of the confusion and continued feelings of exclusion on the part of white men stems from the fact that too many folks continue to cling to old "diversity" language and have yet to adopt a more inclusive mind-set about who is diverse and who encompasses the diversity we're supposed to be valuing.

In my travels on the transformation highway, I've encountered several white men who have accepted the challenge of driving the train to inclusion. They are willing and able to do so because they fully understand that inclusive relationships and inclusive environments benefit them just as much as they benefit folks who've been traditionally excluded. I remember reading a response Steven Spielberg once gave to an inquirer who asked why he chose to be involved with movies like The Color Purple and Amistad. He remarked that he wanted his African American children to know their history. In a nutshell, he understood that choosing to know and value the experiences people outside of his own culture would enhance his relationships with people who are important to him.

Although there are still too many folks from all cultures who just don't "get it", I'm encouraged by the fact that increasing numbers of inclusion champions are emerging in our communities and workplaces. Consider the growing numbers of straight folks who are standing up for the rights of gay people simply because they have a gay friend or relative. Or the increasing numbers of men who are playing an active role in calling for more research and funding to fight breast cancer, because they understand it will enhance the lives of their sisters, mothers, wives and daughters. When we begin to appreciate our similarities and our differences, we make choices that result in more inclusive relationships and environments for ourselves and others. I truly believe that a great many white, male middle managers would get with the program if we stopped focusing on the "diversity train" and show them where the "inclusion train" can take everybody. After all most personal transformations are motivated by the promise of personal gain. If I know the train is headed to a place where I want to go, I'm more inclined to buy a ticket, enjoy the ride, invite others to join me and even volunteer to drive.


Inclusively yours,
Di Versity

Di's Food for Thought...

Diversity enthusiasts and challengers across the nation are talking about William and Mary University - a predominately heterosexual institution, crowning its first transgender homecoming queen earlier this month. If you read the blogs in the various media sources that reported on this story, much of the uproar is from people who are not students or alumni but are "simply appalled" that the university and its student body allowed this type of "mockery" of the homecoming queen tradition to occur. On the brighter side, numerous folks engaged in internet conversations regarding this first have expressed an "it's-about-time" attitude and have said they are proud to be amongst a group of students/alumni that seem to be more prepared to succeed in the 21st Century.

In my day-to-day encounters, it’s become apparent to me that people who have positive non-sexual social relationships with and exposure to LBGT community members are more likely to choose inclusive environments and decision-making processes. While people who vehemently express disproval of LBGT folks almost always choose environments and decision-making processes in which LBGT folks have no voice and – sometimes – no visible presence.

I was recently engaged in a conversation with African American women/mothers about Morehouse University’s decision to bar male students from wearing women’s clothing on campus. All of the other women felt the school was within its rights and that the action taken was the moral thing to do because “these boys who walking around in women’s clothing are a disgrace to the school, to our race and it’s just a sin against God!” When I reminded the group that these boys in women’s clothing were also God’s creations and that they have rights that should be protected at an educational institution that accepts funding from both State and Federal sources, the women insisted that homosexuals should have no such rights. When I asked the women if the school officials were justified in forbidding males to dress in female clothing while allowing female students, faculty and staff to wear clothing most often associated with men, I was told that the school had the right to do whatever it wanted to do to protect its image. And I can’t even describe the strange looks I got when I suggested that perhaps Morehouse officials have failed to keep up with 21st Century ideas of what constitutes “manhood.” Finally, when I reminded the group that just a few minutes earlier they were talking about how unfair it was for their employer to treat them "like second class citizens" because they were black and female, they told me their fight was different because they didn't have a choice as to their race or their gender, but gay people choose to be gay.

This very heated conversation continued and one participant laughingly told the others about how her son-in-law had vowed to “beat the hell out of“ any of his sons who came home “talking that gay mess!” She shared this information with such pride that at that very moment, I said a silent prayer for all of her current and future grandchildren. I couldn’t help but wonder how many LBGT folks do you ladies already know who wouldn’t dare reveal their true identities to you if their lives depended on it, because of the sentiments you’ve already expressed about non-heterosexuals in conversations just like this one?

No wonder so many of our young folks who are confused about their budding sexuality turn to the streets and/or to other unsavory and predatory sources of support rather than to their families, their friends and/or their places of worship. I can clearly understand that for some, either option promises a beat-down for being who they really are.

Perhaps schools such as William and Mary can increase their enrollment by letting other know their student population is more open to LBGT folks than most. And LBGT male students at Morehouse surely should look around for more inclusive learning environments. At any rate, we've got a lot more work to do!

Inclusively yours,
Di Versity

marquita.olive@yahoo.com

Hi Di!

Great idea here! I want to know if it is offensive to refer to people as "Hispanic" or "Latino" if they are Mexican, Puerto Rican or from another Spanish speaking group?