Sharon Littles said...

This is a GREAT blog about DiVersity and getting those questions discussed, answered, for many curious minds. Its too funny about the African American women's hair and not getting it wet at the beach!!!

October 31, 2009 6:22 AM

Hey Sharon,

Thanks for the feedback. I hope you will visit Ask Di Versity on a regular basis to see what folks are talking about and don't forget to encourage others in your professional and personal networks to join the dialogue!

The curiosity about African American hair comes up more than one might imagine and now that Chris Rock's movie has emerged, I'm sure it will spark even more conversation and questions. One of my favorite black hair stories was shared at a diversity training I was doing for executives for a large banking client. The 40-50 participants were in small groups exchanging information about their most memorable childhood diversity awakenings and suddenly one of the groups burst into loud uncontrollable laughter that disrupted all of the other groups' discussions. The members of the laughing group were all female and although it was apparent to everyone they were trying to regain composure, each of them were holding their stomachs and had tears rolling down their faces.

When they finally calmed down, I asked if they wanted to share whatever it was they were discussing with the entire group. One of the participants - an African American woman who'd grown up in the Midwest - proceeded to tell us about her very first sleep-over experience at a white classmate's home. The sleep-over group was comprised of 6-7 year old girls and one of the activities planned for the weekend was a visit to the neighborhood swimming pool. All of the little girls had a great time swimming but upon returning to the host's home, the story-teller was in tears and insisting upon going home because after the swimming activity, her hair had "napped up" and was standing all over her head. She said she was embarrassed because she'd gone to the pool looking like all the other girls but came home looking like Buckwheat.

The mother of the child hosting the party felt so bad because her daughter's only black guest was clearly so unhappy and not wanting to stay for the rest of the festivities. So the white mom phoned the black mom to apprise her of the turn of events and she asked the black mom if there was anything she could do to resolve the situation so that the black child would want to stay at the party. Upon hearing why her daughter was so upset, the black mom told the white mom, "Don't worry. All you have to do is put at lot of grease on her hair and brush it down and everything will be just fine." The white mom was thrilled to have found a solution to the dilemma and immediately told the crying child that her mom had told her what to do. She took the little black guest into the bathroom to follow the instructions she'd been given by the child's mother. Unfortunately, because she had no idea the black child's mom had been talking about hair grease, she applied a huge glob of solid white Crisco to the child's hair and brushed it down has directed. The story-teller stayed at the party and even had a good time - but by the end of the weekend the still visible Crisco had attracted all kinds of lint and gnats and she remembered smelling like she was about to fry something the entire time.

I still laugh whenever I remember how much the class full of banking executives reacted upon hearing their colleague's story. It was an enlightening moment for all of us that underlined the fact that not knowing about other cultures really can end in some hilarious results and don't always lead to memories of anger and diminishment. Hopefully, we can all experience moments that make us laugh as we work to build mutually appreciative relationships with folks from other cultures.

Yours inclusively,
Di Versity